Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
