no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
