would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
