doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
