come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
