Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
