??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
