oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
time to smoke my breakfast
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
