Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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