He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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