My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize