Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
