one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
