hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
