She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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