One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
