i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
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her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
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he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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