I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think I sprained my soul last night
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
