i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
