I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
