just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
