Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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