So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
