Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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