Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
