After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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