i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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