I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize