the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
