i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You can't special order awesome
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
