Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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