well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
