The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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