Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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