I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
