clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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