i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize