We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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