you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Actions speak louder than pants.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
