Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize