I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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