ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We left the knife in your bed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
