If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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