If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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