Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
