The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
