I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
