Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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