Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
