I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
