If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
And then he peed in my hair
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