fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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