epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What a dumb baby whore.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
