She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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