Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
