in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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