is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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