You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize