call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
