ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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