super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
